Whether you love it or hate it, the most commercialised day of romance in the calendar year is creeping up on us yet again, meaning you, lovely singleton, must do one of two things: (1) flip February 14th the metaphorical bird and don’t let it bother your wonderful I-get-all-of-the-bed existence; or (2) start hatching a plan to secure yourself a date for the big day. Those in favour of option one, we salute you; those leaning towards option two, this list is for you.
1. Embrace Tinder, swiping right more frequently than your better judgement normally allows.
2. Pick your fave couple friends to third wheel with and take great pleasure in booking a table for three. “Why yes we are ”
3. Lower your standards.
4. Incorporate pick-up lines into your day-to-day. We’re sure your barista would love to hear you think there’s something brewing between you and your Uber driver would be tickled pink to know you’d like to pick them up next time around (see what we did there?).
5. Dress your cat up in a teeny tiny tux.
6. You know that creepy guy who catches the same bus as you in the mornings? Talk to him.
7. Commence winking at randoms.
8. And walking past construction sites with unprecedented frequency.
9. Lock in a date with your comfiest PJs, favourite ice-cream, and all Ryan Gosling movies since The Notebook (permission to skip Lars and the Real Girl). Also accept that you will spend approximately 84 minutes afterwards googling Ryan Gosling’s funniest moments on YouTube. You know, just to check he’s as charming in real life.
10. Finally accept the set-up your bestie has been trying to instigate for the past six months. You never know: it could be a match made in heaven.